Thinking Thinking Thinking.....!

its gonna be different.
not that I am scared of change,
not that I am unsure of anything,
but I am still questioning...
but I still fail a little stagnant!

I wish...
I was not a girl (for the first time ever),
Did not have to live without my loved ones in a far far away land,
I feel a little cursed,
I feel a little sour,
I know its a beckoning of a new, fresh, sweet tomorrow,
but even then,
I feel i will be dead for a few days,
and then again take a new birth!

I want to be me in my life today & tomorrow!

I wish,
I could stop thinking and clearly hear and act as per my heart commands!

welcome to the family

The day I saw you,
you were new to me...
the curiosity to know,
the urge to share,
the want for you,
were are all very new!

Speculations, social norms, thoughts & fears...
with you they flew in no time!

your confidence & your expectations from "US",
made me more more fickle every second.

I still do not know, whether I am clear,
I still do not Know, whether this is right,
But for me the way you make me feel,
the way you make me smile,
its good enough a reason,
for me to be a part of "US"

a little numb!

I don't know what it was,
I don't know why it was,
I don't feel anything...
Eye drops,
pain for vain,
you were not nothing for me but
now YOU are!
it hurts when you say 'now' something you never said before :(
but I cant feel it now...
numb numb numb
this is how I feel!!

Wish!

On the swing,
In the flashback,
Of a dream like moment of us,
Wish it was not yesterday!

Hold me tight,
in your arms today,
I'm felling lonely like...

Wipe a tear,
and make me smile,
Like u always do...

Let your eyes,
just look at me,
I'm feeling different now...

Give your touch,
as if its only mine,
I'm not gonna let you go...

I..inDIA ..speak!

a little too low,
a little too slow,
In the pace of the fast world,
I feel a little stuck up,
I feel a little stagnant,
things sometimes just seem to take a change,
when I fell the brunt of truth..
Face it!
is what something inside me keeps telling me...
but I argue,
and I bitch,
things still don't seem to change..
I know I am not helpless
& I can bring the change...
but
Do I have the strength of acceptance of "WRONG" happenings?
THE ANSWER IS WITH ME...

I want to be the CHANGE!

But I am scared of the ears that shall bleed!

Change...

Changes are indispensable from life...
but how does one figure out,
whether it was for the good or the bad
or its just sane to move on with the flow,
good times never come back again,
and people change priorities as per their convenience,
its for people to pin point and say "Do'nt..."
when they have all,
But then...
Do'nt expect me smile,
Do'nt expect me crave,
Do'nt expect me to be same,

As friends are for all
and foes are for none..
It means to me when you just turn around and say nothing...
but I know now that probably I meant nothing.....

Over a conversation

& a cup of coffee, a friend happens to express the below:

“When a woman loves,
She loves in a different way,
She observes,
She thinks,
She plays,
It’s all different!

She spreads around colors,
She spreads around joy,
But I hate when the girls are morose,
when they are confused about falling in love,

And as per his observation,
There has always been a fantastic Love Story which they have experienced & enjoyed in their past, and this is largely their first love.

It’s true it is difficult to forget the first times,
the first time u blushed and went pink,
the first you kissed him in the rain,
the first hug, when he held you tight in his arms and you felt the warmth...

See.... You have already started imagining yours
(he commented with a smile and I simply Blushed even more.)

Love is a splendid experience, a girl in love with you adds to it more than a guy can..."

I interrupted so what do you think... Guys cannot feel the same?

“Look I am no one to make a comment on that ...
My opinions here are a little biased,
As my girlfriend made my Love Journey totally different,
I was clearly not her first love

BUT (and he paused)

Looked at me and said...
Yeah...
But we are dating now and I can’t imagine my life without her!"

I asked for more details?!?!?
and he smiled :)

Nice meeting you
See you soon!

I am still very keen to know more... I do not know why??
I hope & I wish
we meet again and he talks as indulgently and he speaks with a very obvious understanding of a how a woman feels...!

unfolding...

SELF
A word with a dual worth
You can be all it: Boasting Ego
or
You can be fighting to find: Real Self

I believe there is a thin line between the two as you are always rediscovering yourself ,there are times wherein your acts & thoughts boost you or can butcher all you have been telling yourself since you were young.

I have learnt today, Any expectation is poison to happiness.
Fault is not with people its with you,
today, they like you
tommorow, it can be someone else?


Thanks to glory... and eternal process
grown a little inch again.

A drop in her eye!

A book worm boy,
and street smart girl,
a twinkle in her eye,
turned into a smile,
began to share,
nights grew longer for conversations,
figured the likes & dislikes,
Argued like hell,
and fought every other second,
made no friends all this while,
Time was for only him,
and he was never for her,
it got awkward,
she wanted to be free,
he agreed like a gentlemen,
and still were friends,
with diluting trust,
things went ugly,
only leaving....
A drop in her eye!